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So here's my topic for today:
BABIES SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT
Issue at hand: Cole is a sort of good sleeper. He likes going to bed fairly early, but then he's up by 5:30 or 6:00am and a couple times in the middle of the night, too...NOT working for me. Then if I try to put him down later at night so he'll wake up later in the morning, he STILL gets up way too early. My ideal sleep pattern for him would be 7:00pm-7:00am. I don't think that has ever happened. Well, I KNOW it hasn't. Sometimes he's still waking up at 2:00am wanting to eat, play, or just stand up in him crib to feel cool.
Friends, dear readers, is this normal?! Tell me what to do! I know so many other babies Cole's ago who have no problem sleeping all 12 hours perfectly with no problem. He's almost one year old now and I've got to get a hold on things....but trust me, I've been trying!
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28 comments:
I need help in this dept too!
I had these same issues with my daughter (who is now 5). THen I had twin boys. I was determined to get them in a good routine. Someone told me about babywhisperer.com You can check out the book at the library, or I just read the message boards on the website. I loved the philosophy and my boys are great sleepers! I highly recommend it!
i know everyone is going to have strong opinions on this subject because moms like to think that what worked with our child is what everyone should do. and i suppose i'm no different, so here's what i did, haha. get the book 'healthy sleep habits, happy child.' it CHANGED MY LIFE. my daughter was the worst sleeper in the world until that book helped me understand what she needed. now she sleeps from 7 till 8ish every night without waking up at all. we were down to one waking a night that just wouldn't go away, so finally i just let her cry herself back to sleep, which only took like 10 minutes...not the eternity i was expecting. and she's never woken up again (except when she's sick).seriously, though....get that book. it has information about letting them cry or not letting them cry because that really depends on your child's personality, i think. you can totally borrow my copy if you want...or email me if you want me to summarize. this was such a struggle for us, so it's one of accomplishments i'm most proud of as a mother, and i LOVE talking about it, haha. well rested families are happy families!
I've been having similar problems and found this book called The Sleepeasy Solution. It talks about sleep cycles and sleep associations. I know Joshua hasn't learned to fall asleep on his own, I always help him. So when he goes through a sleep cycle and wakes up at 2 am, he doesn't know how to put himself back to sleep--he still needs my help. I'm sure Cole has a bedtime routine, but Joshua doesn't have a set one, and so...there are a lot of things I, personally, need to do to help Joshua sleep. :P Hopefully some of that helps you too!
i hear some babies just don't need as much sleep as others. i have friends who's babies sleep 12-14 hours. my son who is 9 months goes to bed around 7 or 7:30 and wakes up 1-2 times a night...i only feed him one of those times and then he is usually up at 6:30. I have tried letting him cry it out, didn't work, i have tried taking away other naps to make him sleep more...so you are not alone in the fact that your son is awake a lot! a good book to try, that friends say worked is healthy sleeping habits, happy child
Hey, Heather, we've struggled with Julia's sleep too. She is up every day between 5:30 and 6, no matter what we do. But, she does sleep from 7 pm on straight. We had to work for that, though; it definitely didn't come easy for us. I tried reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and I found it to be completely contradictory and confusing. We tried using its suggestions, but Julia would just cry and cry and never go to sleep. Then we found The Sleepeasy Solution, which Torri already recommended. I like that book's suggestions a lot better, and they helped us help Julia learn how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night. It's also helped us understand her napping needs. I definitely recommend it! I know you can check it out from the Orem library, but I'm not sure about Provo's. Anyway, good luck, and feel free to email me if you want anymore info!
I second what Annie said. I seriously was going to type all of that exact same stuff. But this is a very impassioned topic. Some people firmly believe no child should cry to sleep while others say "let 'em cry." The bottom line is that you need sleep and the kid needs sleep. And the responsible thing is to get it. So, whatever you decide to do, don't feel bad. But I've used both THE SLEEP EASY SOLUTION and HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS, HAPPY CHILD and they are both great. I think that Healthy Sleep Habits goes more into depth especially about how to sleep train babies. But since Cole is an older baby now, I bet that the Sleep Easy Solution would be great--it's a MUCH FASTER read. Good luck! And really, don't feel like a bad mom no matter what you decide to do. We all go through this.
OH, another thought: Babies get used to falling asleep a certain way. So, if you rock a baby or nurse a baby to sleep and then they wake up in the night, they can't fall asleep unless they have that again. So you have to help them to sleep on their own. Rock them until they get drowsy and then put them down. Or give them a shirt that smells like you or something so that in the night when (not if) they awaken they can sooth themselves to sleep and they don't need to cry for you.
i like your new segment. your question hits home for me too so i'd love to hear everyone's ideas. good luck!
This will be a great segment! I am excited to see more of it.
I have had gobs of advice during my pregnancy, but I have heard good things about the book, "The Baby Whisperer".
These are all SO great! Thank you all!
I love all these great suggestions! Sorry I, as your mom, have no more good ideas! Maybe it's just been too long. But I DO have to say this is an absolutely ADORABLE picture of my grandson, Heather! I love your photography so much! Cole's changing so fast -- too fast!
Well my almost 2 yr old still gets up every morning around six and I've tried everything possible to adjust this and can't. I read that healthy sleep book too. It good but really jumps around a lot. Some kids are just early risers I've decided.
I have way too much to talk to you about regarding this to type it out here. Maybe I'll give you a call or see you this weekend. My first was like this but I did something, that for me, worked...
life is soo much easier when your baby sleeps all through the night! i read the healthy sleep, happy child book too and liked it okay...and then i got the sleep sense book (its an ebook)
anyway, it's basically the same as the healthy sleep/happy book but it goes into detail about how you must teach your child to go to sleep on their own!
i always tried to nurse ivy to sleep or get her sleepy...but you must put your baby down awake! they need to learn how to go to sleep by themselves. let him cry himself to sleep if you have to. it's so hard, but it seriously works!!!
the other key is to make bedtime a routine - and stick with it every single night. if you can.
let me know if you are interested in the ebook and i'll email it to you!
good luck!
Oh crap! Are you telling me I am not going to get a good nights sleep for the next year?!!! I was working towards getting her to sleep through the night by 8 weeks, which so far isn't working! I read Babywise which says babies are able to sleep through the night by 8 weeks, and Happiest Baby on the Block which has some other ideas, but so far no results! Maybe I'll try those other books! I can't take this much longer!
babywise is the way to go. not nursing quinn to sleep and letting him cry it out in the middle of the night was the hardest thing i ever did. first night he cried {not too loud more like whined} for one hour and forty five minutes, the next night forty five minutes and the next night twenty minutes. and he has literally slept through the night ever since! he wasn't always a good sleeper but starting at about six months i just really buckled down and it was totally worth it.
Oi, we're having all sorts of sleep issues over here. G will ONLY sleep if I nurse her down & since she sleeps with us I'm an all night buffet. I realize she is a monster of my own making, BUT we've tried the whole crib thing and it just doesn't work for us.
Someday! Someday we'll all figure it all out!
Until then -- I feel your pain!
If only we lived closer -- we could go out and caffeinate together ;)
Peace!
Everyone is going to have a different thing that worked, because every kid is different. Felicity didn't start sleeping through the night until she was 11 months. I thought I was doing everything wrong, but honestly it was just her. I am not against letting them cry it out, but it did not work for Felicity. I read Healthy Sleep Habits-Happy Baby. Wasn't working for us. I liked the book by Ferber-can't remember what it is called. Good luck child-I promise, some day soon-it will happen and life will be great!
Oh! I am no expert by any means! What worked for us with Joel (and this is so incredibly hard) is when he woke up in the middle of the night we just let him cry himself back to sleep. In the beginning I'd go in for a few minutes and lay him down and rub his belly and then leave then eventually I stopped going in altogether. It took my husband's restraint to keep me from going in, but it worked! (Please don't think I'm heartless!) Good luck!
I just finished letting my son (10mo) cry it out (we did w/ my daughter too). Totally worth it and only lasted a few days, honestly he doesn't remember when he wakes up in the morning- promise! When my daughter started waking up too early 5 or 6!! We put an alarm clock in her room and set it early, then moved it back and back until she now sleeps til 7:00. Now we don't use an alarm but now she can read the 7 so she stays in her room til it says 7.
OK. I read a few of these comments and everyone seems to be on the right track. Trust me I have read ALL of the sleep books. ALL OF THEM. 'healthy sleep habits, happy child' is the best book recommended (boring and technical but useful) because it discusses all kinds of options and you can decide what works best for your FAMILY. I think that the most important advice is to do what works not only for cole but for you and matt.
here are some things you could consider.
- Crying it out sucks buckets. But it works. Some kids it only takes a couple of nights. Some kids it takes nearly a week. I've had friends who it took longer. YUCK. But ultimately it does work if the parents can really truly stomach it long enough. One break in the cycle and you're back to square one. Raleigh needed this. I was a zombie for a year and then I finally bit the bullet and let him cry for a few nights (our poor tva neighbors) and shazaam. Problem solved. He would still occasionally wake once in a while but I'd always just let him cry. He is a FANTASTIC sleeper to this day!
- Rather than keeping Cole up from naps or up later than normal to tucker him out, giving him MORE sleep during the day might actually help him sleep better in the night. Sometimes our kids have a hard time getting restful sleep because they actually need MORE of it. Cardon was like this.
- Pick a program and stick with it. Sleep patterns are ultimately just habits. Healthy habits or unhealthy ones. Your consistency will help Cole's physiology change to develop new healthy habits that will really bless him for years to come.
I have friends who didn't bite the bad sleep habits thing in the butt and here they are with 6 year olds still climbing into their beds every night. That's not healthy for anyone parents or their elementary school kid who needs good sleep.
Ok you asked for 2 cents but I'm pretty sure I gave you .99.
Hope it's not annoying. :)
Shauna,
That alarm clock idea is magic!
I loved this post. It made me realize I need to be more proactive about my baby's sleep habits. For all our sakes!
Hey Heath-if you do decide to let Cole cry it out-get some ear plugs. It sounds kind of harsh, but they got us through 4 months of colic and letting her cry at night. When she would start crying-I would see what time it was-put the earplugs in and tell myself to wait for 5 minutes before taking them out. I could actually still hear her, but just barely. It made the emotional hardship of listening to her cry a little easier.
found your blog through according to nina! love it. cole is precious! i'm due in february and the lack-of-sleep thing is totally freaking me out! good luck, hope you figure it out soon!
healthy sleep habits/happy child! i read it right after i had belle. i was determined to have her sleeping thru the night at 2mo. it was hard, but i tried my best to stick to what the book suggested and it worked! good luck heather!
It was really hard for me to do this, but I finally learned not to go in their room at night unless they are screaming bloody murder. If they wake up and whine for awhile, they usually will fall back asleep. If he uses a pacifier, give him time to find it on his own before you go in there. He is tired so if you don't come in there, he will most likely fall back asleep. The first few nights will be hard but I promise he will figure it out faster than you think.
I had to learn this the hard way. Bryn didn't sleep through the night til 6 months and Isa not til 4 months. But then they both would sleep 12 hours and they both still do! (isa is 1 and bryn is 3) That is not to say they don't wake up sometimes but for the most part I don't have to go in their room.
oh also the book The Baby Whisperer really helped me. you can find it really cheap used.
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