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Whenever I ask your opinion on something, you always have the best ideas.
So here it is- my sweet, dearest Hawk (4 month old) won't take a bottle or pacifier. I thought the bottle was the bigger issue until he started waking up at night, every single hour just so "use" me to fall back asleep. It only takes a minute or two, but still, I just wanna be able to give him a binkie and not HAVE to rely solely on me to be soothed.
I never understood when moms would say that their babies wouldn't take pacifiers. I just thought maybe they weren't trying hard enough or something. SO not true!
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Hawk thinks binkies are toys. He chomps on them rather than suck. If I try to give him one while he has just fallen asleep, he starts gagging and gets SUPER mad. I even warm it up for him so it's not cold. Nope. Drama.
What do I do?!?!?! He's just about 4 months now...is that too young to just let him cry it out?! I'm thinking maybe he's a bit young. I guess if this is my "biggiest issue" with my baby I have it pretty good, but still, it's driving me nuts! Getting up every hour at night, not to feed him, but to just soothe with my boob for one minute gets a little...annoying!
I guess my biggest fear is that it's going to get into a terrible habit!
Thoughts? Suggestions? HELP!
*Thoughts on getting him to take a bottle would be helpful too, but more specifically the BINKIE!
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24 comments:
I'm not much help on the pacifier issue- my son took to his right away in the hospital (maybe that's the secret? starting early?). But we did start letting him cry it out around 4 1/2 months. If that's the route you're taking with sleep training, I'd start anytime in the next few months. We started with Luke at 4 months and quickly realized that for him, that was a little young. We waited two more weeks, and by then, he was able to comfort and calm himself down.
Or, maybe try other forms of comfort- swaddling? rocking? to get him away from using you as a pacifier. Cause if he's not hungry, he probably just wants comfort! Good luck!
I thought my daughter Elise wouldn't take a pacifier either. We had many different types and she would just chew on all of them. She also would wake up constantly at night and only the boob could soothe her. Then we tried the Mam brand pacifier, and the bigger size, 6 month +, but she like that one for some reason and it would soothe her.
Of course she then became reliant on that later, and started waking up every hour because it would fall out, at which point we had to take it away for her to sleep longer stretches. But from 4-6 months the pacifier was a life saver.
Norah never took a pacifier, and we started trying in the hospital but she was just like Hawk. Thought it was a toy, would chew on it and toss it. I was so frustrated because I, too, was a human pacifier. Finally for my sanity we started letting her cry it out around 4 months. She never cried too long and eventually figured it out.
If it helps at all, we started letting Jack cry it out around 4 weeks, and he was sleeping 8+ hours at night by 9 weeks. He was bottle-fed, but would never take a binky either. Around 5 weeks he could put himself to sleep at naptime and bedtime...it took him a few days and he quickly learned it was easier to just fall asleep on his own than be cradled by us. I'm kind of a strict parent on some things and getting my kid to sleep through the night at a young age was extremely important to me. Jack is still a fantastic sleeper and goes down for naps and bedtime so easily because he was trained young. Also, read Babywise if you haven't already. Not everyone agrees with it, but for me it worked great!
You guys! I knew you'd all have great things to say! Thank you SO MUCH!!
Jett never took a pacifier. Maybe like twice in the hospital and that was it. He was really good with a bottle though. Good luck!
my vote is cry it out.
ok, Sailyr would not take a binky either. Here is what I did, I started letting her cry it out at about 3 months. But I would watch the clock and not let her cry longer than 15 min at a time (you could start with 10 min if its easier). If the 15 min was up and she was still crying I would go in her room, pick her up, hold her for a min (just give her a little love) then lay her back in her bed. These nights did not last more than a week. I think the more you go in the more dependant they become on you to get them to sleep. Once she learned to get her self to sleep is when she started sleeping through the night.
I know letting them cry sounds so mean, but it worked for us, and it only took Sailyr a few nights to understand she could get herself to sleep. She is still a great sleeper!! Good luck!!
p.s. I read baby wise and it helped, has some great tips!
Raf didn't take a binky til 6 months...
And this is the only one he would take:
http://www.amazon.com/NUK-Genius-Silicone-Pacifier-Months/dp/B002UXQRHU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1323369130&sr=8-2
that one trained him and now he takes all kinds.
Good Luck! Every baby is so different and unique. xo
Jocelyn and Evelyn never took a binkie and Evie wouldn't take a bottle either. They both started self soothing around 4 months...Jocelyn thumb, Evie would suck on two of her fingers. It's great...until they're 5 and still sucking their thumb :-) Maybe he'll start self soothing.
i think letting them cry it out, even as early as four weeks (someone mentioned that) is ok. every baby is different, that's for sure, but like someone else mentioned, just watch the clock and try to wean them into self-soothing by lessening your visits. remember, you're training yourself just as much as he is :)
When Cash was little, the books I read said that 4 months was the ideal time to start sleep training. We did a modified form of crying it out and it only took 2 days for him to master self soothing. I would go in his room after 3 minutes of crying, then 5 minutes, then 7, then 10, then 15 each time after that. He never took a binky either so we just gave him a little lovie blanket and that worked wonders. Good luck!
my first baby was bottle fed, and a great sleeper...so when I had my 2nd baby and he was breastfed exclusively, he NEVER took a bottle or a pacifier and I too was a human pacifier. I could never leave him with a sitter because he would just scream!!! I tried all types/brands of binkies and bottle nipples, and nothing worked. Finally at 9 months, (after waking up every 2 hrs EVERY night until then) I just said that's it and let him cry. It was hard but it only took 2 nights and he was cured. I kicked myself for waiting so long and for giving in to him for so long! So, my advice is DON'T give in. I agree with what everyone else has said and start training him/and you now. Oh yeah, part of the problem with my 2nd baby was that he started teething at 4 months and had 5 teeth by the time he was 6 months old. Maybe Hawk is starting to get a tooth? Good luck!!!
You guys are so amazing! Thank you for all of your help! Honestly. Keep 'em coming!
There are SUCH good moms out there...I'm talking about ALL of you :)
Stephen didn't really take a pacifier either (just for a very short time---maybe a month at like 4 months--random, but my mom suggested I try it when we visited her) then he dumped it and never wanted it again.
We chose to let him cry it out at 4 months as well, mostly just to save our own sanity, because the sleep deprivation was so taxing on me that sometimes I'd have to ask Josh to get him because I was so angry. Then I would cry until I felt like I could have sympathy for the baby and self-control.
It took about 4 days, but he was great after that. I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and that really helped me. I had no idea how to get Stephen on any kind of sleep schedule (so he didn't nap regularly, which was killer) but once we got him sleeping through the night, he took regular naps (sometimes 4-hour ones!) and still takes a 3-hour nap each afternoon.
Sleep issues are hard, but I know you'll figure out what's best for you guys!
I won't be a lot of help, but here is what I know.
My son didn't like the hospital pacifier. We had to try a few before we found one that he liked.
Is he falling asleep while nursing. With babies if they fall asleep with something (like music, rocking, sucking, etc.) then when they wake momentarily they expect to still be doing that thing. So if he is getting sleepy then stop feeding him and get him in his bed. If he can fall asleep in the dark in his bed without you holding or nursing him then you may not even need the pacifier. Every kid is so different. I hope you can find what works for him.
Neither of my boys would take a bottle but both have preferred the latex pacifiers over the silicone. They also liked the more "natural" looking pacifiers over the orthodontic ones. My 9 month old will only take the Gerber First Essentials one (the only one he wouldn't spit out): http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Essentials-Center-Pacifier-Colors/dp/B00005C0KD
When you're ready to tackle the sleep issues I like the book The Sleep Easy Solution. I personally start sleep training around 4-5 months at bedtime but still nurse when they wake in the night- eventually they start sleeping longer and longer stretches because they have learned to self-soothe at bedtime. Hope this helps!
I'm a random reader but I had to comment on this.. I have 8 month old twins and two kids that are older. I never understood people who's kids didn't take a binkie until my twins. One will not take one and one does.. Between 4-5 months with her was so hard I felt like I had to sooth her by holding her so it took so long to get her to sleep. I tried for 6 months to get her to take a binkie. It was by her side all the time.. Between 4-5 months I transitioned her to her crib and let her cry it out. Luckily she took to that good but I lOve now that she's not a binkie baby. She's my best sleeper out of 4 kids. She soothes herself and I don't have to take away the binkie (yay).. All babies are sooo different though so to each their own but If boob soothing works for you then do it but if it's kicking your but stop you'll figure something else out. Good luck!
You guys are so wonderful! Looks like the major consensus is "cry it out" which I'm all about. We tried last night. It was a little rough, but not too bad. He cried himself to sleep. And his first nap- just put him down, cried for about 3 minutes, and then SILENCE! It's WORKING!!
I think one of the hardest things for him is getting used to not being swaddled, specifically having his arms out. After he gets used to that I think life will be bliss :)
Thanks again!
xoxo
I recommend splurging on as many different pacifiers that you can, and try one til it works. My first took whatever we gave her, my 2nd went through about 5 before we found one he liked, and my 3rd (3 months now) won't take one, but we started letting him cry it out this week and it has been working well, falls asleep after about 5 minutes. Good luck! I know its super frustrating. My 2nd didn't sleep through the night until over a year!
I just had to come back and add my support for the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." That book saved my life.
I just wanted to say that I wish I would have let Lennon cry it out earlier than I did, because I was having to go in and replace her binkie all the time until she'd fall asleep and it was way annoying. I think 4 months would be the best time to do it. Once Lennon figured out how to put her own binkie in, life was much easier for me... but she still needs the binkie to fall asleep, she can just find it herself now. So that will be the next transition. I hope it's easier than breaking her of the swaddle, because that took forever!! Good luck Heather :)
Oh dear... sleep! I hate sleep issues! When my son was born I couldn't really function. I normally need quite a bit of sleep, so I started letting him cry it out after 3 weeks! He was sleeping through the night at 4 weeks - and we're talking 10+ hours. We did use a pacifier for the first 3 weeks but it got to be such a burden on me... running it to put it back in, ALL through the night. Not my idea of fun. So we took it away cold turkey! It took him about a day to find his finger. Now he only sucks on his finger when he's SUPER tired. And he's 13 months old, and STILL goes to bed at SIX!!!! Yes, SIX! (And wakes up at 7 in the morning, in case you were wondering.) Good luck!! I love your blog, by the way.
Hi, I am a new reader of your blog, ans so far I love it!
If you want to let your baby cry out, just read the good and the bad side: (just copy paste it)
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
My baby is almost 11 months old and she uses pacifier and yet still sometimes she wants me to calm her down, its natural, these are their instincts. I'm totally pro co-sleeping, I know sometimes this word scares most people but here is a very good article, it may be the solution for those sleepless nights:
http://www.llli.org/nb/nbjanfeb09p4.html
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